Negligent Mom or Overly Paranoid Bystanders?

On Friday, after I picked up M from preschool, the three of us cruised over to Willow Glen (one of those quaint Bay Area villages where only wealthy people can apparently afford to live. Oh, and my friends Becca and Chris). I was/am still on the hunt for a specific book to help M finally wean off of the pacifier. There's an awesome kid's bookstore in the Glen (as I like to call it in order to sound like I actually reside there). I figured if anyone would have it, it would be this place.

BTW, I personally am not one of those parents who has issues with pacifiers. I figure hey, if it makes my kid feel more secure and allows them to sleep more peacefully, who CARES?! That said, I do have issues with my child looking like this (while searching for that photo, I stumbled across this totally inappropriate--yet funny--cartoon) which our dentist ensures me will happen if we don't wean M off her pacifier ASAP.

Anyhoo...the book in question is apparantly out of print. And I wasn't able to find any others. So we left the bookstore sans purchase....

...and that's when it happened. As I walked out, I noticed two women staring in concern and consternation at a large, black SUV parked on the street right in front of the bookstore. One of the woman turned to me with a frown on her face, pointed inside the car, and asked, "Are those your kids?" I looked over her shoulder and, sure enough, there were three children in the car. Two of whom were in car seats and sound asleep. The eldest, who appeared to be roughly seven or eight, was staring at his GameBoy. No parents were in sight. I turned back to Bystander #1 and shook my head. "Nope. Not mine. I imagine they popped into the store for a minute to pick something up. Maybe you should ask inside?" At my suggestion, she was off like a shot. I could see her head bobbing up and down as she swooped in on unsuspecting patrons.

Meanwhile, Bystander #2--a young, attractive gal who (based on her non-existant waistline) had clearly never experienced the joys of pregnancy--looked at me worriedly. "I just can't believe someone would leave three kids in a car like that! I mean, maybe for a few seconds. But I've been out here for at least three minutes and I haven't seen any sign of a parent."

Although I had both my kids with me and Z was obviously jonesing for her bottle, I decided to stick around to see how this whole drama played out. Eventually Bystander #1 emerged triumphantly, and not a little self-righteously, from the bookstore with the wayward parent in tow. She (the mom) was breathlessly trying to explain she'd only gone in for a second, her older son was in the car with the kids, the side window was rolled down so they wouldn't suffocate, but all doors were locked, and the eldest had a cell phone to call her if anything went down. As she was talking, she was also unlocking and hopping into her car as fast as she could. And then she started the car and sped away as only a mom who just missed having the cops called due to her negligent behavior can.

Bystander #1 and #2 looked at me and shook their heads. #1 turned and walked away muttering loudly about careless parents, child abduction, etc. The other gal, who apparently worked in the chic clothing shop next to the bookstore, popped back inside. And I trotted off with my two gals to pick up some ravioli for dinner.

So my friends. Let's chat. Or rather, I'll chat and you can reflect and respond if you so desire.

Which side of the fence do you fall on? Was the mom a careless bimbo who probably deserves, at the very least, to have her children placed in protective custody or, at worst, to be hung at dawn? Has our society become so unsafe that a mother should never think to leave her children sleeping in a car while she pops ten steps away into a store to pick up something they are holding for her? Or could the well-meaning bystanders be overreacting?

All humor aside, I have mixed feelings about the whole incident. On the one hand, I think it's generally a bad idea to leave small children alone in a car for a number of reasons. But I also have sympathy with any mom who is trying to run errands with a car full of children. And I really do have to wonder if--considering the upscale neighborhood, the mother's relative proximity to the car, the older kid inside with a cell phone, the locked doors--the children were at risk of anything at all. That said, I can appreciate the concern of the bystanders too.

Frankly, I'm torn. Life isn't black and white....it's full of those little gray moments that can be so hard to judge and react to. Obviously had this woman been in downtown Oakland at midnight and left her kids in the car while she tried to negotiate with a crack dealer...well, that'd be a pretty clear NO in my book. But middle of the day in family-friendly Willow Glen with as many precautions taken as humanly possible? I'm not sure.

Have things really gone so far downhill since my parents were kids that children are in grave danger if left alone in public for more than a few seconds? Or have we all become more paranoid thanks to mass media and the internet?

My verdict is still out. What do you think?