Birthday Update

Well....kudos to my ever-creative and fast-thinking husband who managed to pull a birthday celebration out of his rear at the last minute. Last night we went to the always sublime Manresa in Los Gatos (my very favorite restaurant) for a delicious meal. And this morning I'm off to a local day spa for a much-needed massage. So I guess I no longer have a reason to sit around pouting. Aside from the fact that I'm going to be a year older tomorrow and it's just one more step towards the really big 4-0.

But hey...thanks to a touching email from my long-lost pal Tammy (currently residing south of the equator in Oz), I realize I'm very lucky that someone actually 1) remembered my birthday and 2) took the time to try and pull something together (even though the original, fabulous plans, did not come to pass).

Thanks Tammy...and hope you have a better birthday this year (or next, if it already passed...as I suspect it did if memory serves) than you have in the past.

Happy Birthday to Me

For the sake of my fragile ego, let's pretend I will be turning 35 on June 1. Don't I look it? How thrilling to be in my mid-30's with a whole FIVE years to go until I turn 40! Whoo-hoo! Thank goodness I'm not turning something boring like, say, 38. How sad and pathetic that would be.

Anyway, due to my upcoming birthday (the big three-five, during which I'll be whisked away on a private jet to a secluded Caribbean island by my adoring husband K, all while a nanny-to-the-stars lovingly watches our kids at home) I will be unable to post new content until next week.

I'll be thinking of you as I relax on a white sand beach while Sven, my hot 20-something masseuse, deftly eases the baby-induced knots and pinched nerve out of my left shoulder. All while my studly husband, gracefully perched atop his surf board, lovingly blows me kisses. Cheers!

We interrupt this dull and predictable fantasy to tell you the real reasons J won't be able to post for the next few days:
1) Today she is in charge of both children due to the temporary closure of M and Z's daycare facility. At this very moment, she is likely pulling huge tufts of hair out of her head.
2) On Saturday, K really is whisking J off on a semi-surprise birthday trip. Rather than a private jet, they'll be taking off in J's 2005 Prius. Instead of a Caribbean island, they'll be headed to more landlocked territory in Sonoma. J's parents will watch the kids. Unfortunately, Sven the masseuse does not factor into the picture at all.
We appreciate your patience and continued patronage! See you next week...

Actually, I won't be doing any of the above as M has come down with a cold. Pardon me while I stomp around the house and yell inappropriate things (my kids are napping so it's ok). Remind me to tell you sometime about my last three birthdays and how this birthday is clearly fitting into the bigger picture. Let's just say I am now an official member of the "how to have a super shitty birthday for four years in a row" club. So the real reason you won't hear from me for a few days is because I'm in the midst of some heavy-duty sulking. Off to feel sorry for myself now.

PS If, in the meantime, you are looking for some quality content to read as opposed to J's snooze-worthy posts, check out her dad's new blog.

The Slippery Slope of Virtual Stalking

There are myriad reasons why I love the internet. This evening, I added a new one to my list: the ability to virtually stalk people. That's right folks! The internet allows even the most law abiding of us to take a walk on the creepy side and peer into the lives of individuals from our past--friends, exes, colleagues, etc--without them ever knowing.

Just so you know, this is not a typical activity for me. When I look for someone online, it's generally because I actually plan to get in touch with them...as opposed to sneaking a peek at them from afar. But for whatever reason (my mind, as you probably realize by now, works in mysterious ways) this evening I decided to play detective and see what, if anything, I could find out about a few people I used to know.

For the most part, I came across little of interest aside from the fact that a few exes are now married and appear to be developing paunches and/or receding hairlines (then again, who isn't?). My first college boyfriend is living in Tennessee and has apparently taken up hiking. And an old pal from college seems to have found God and the Republican party (thank goodness someone still likes the GOP!). Makes me wonder what my internet stalkers must think when they pick over the trail of pictures, white papers, book reviews, and comments I've left behind in cyberspace.

Then I hit a mini-goldmine.

Turns out my last serious boyfriend--before K arrived on the scene--is now living in Petaluma (by way of Austin, TX) with his wife and two young kids. And they've opened what appears to be a seriously awesome preschool. When I say seriously awesome...I mean in the "non-toxic cleaners, all-wood toys, organic lunches, eco-focused, Reggio Emilia approach" way. The place looks adorable based on the website and photos. And, dare I say, if it were magically transported about two miles up the road from my house and not owned and managed by my ex and his wife--I'd totally send my kids there!

So now I'm experiencing a strange mixture of feelings: guilt and regret for spending time looking up people I haven't seen or spoken to in years when I could have been sleeping; surprise at just how easy it is to find out things about people via the internet; a desire to know more about these former acquaintances than the mere snippets I came across online (How did A end up being a hardcore church goer considering her affiliation with all things Wicca? Why did R move to Tennessee instead of Maui where his parents live? What strange twist of fate led J to leave Texas and his successful engineering job to open a preschool in Petaluma with his wife?); and to some degree, a sense of closure. But foremost in my mind is the suspicion that while others have apparently found a degree of purpose in their lives...I have not.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy with who I am. I love my family, my friends, my home. But am I doing all that I could be? I'd once toyed with the idea of opening a preschool (seriously)...and writing a book...and becoming a life coach...and a travel writer. But none of those things have come to pass. And I'm beginning to suspect they never will. Frankly, it's hard not to feel envious of those who have taken the glimmer of an idea and actually turned it into something concrete. I can never seem to manage to get past the idea stage.

Maybe this sense of regret stems, in part, from my upcoming birthday. 40 is looming ever closer along with the (purely self-imposed) pressure to have something to show for myself. Dear God...am I headed for a mid-life crisis? Does this mean you can soon expect to see me tooling around town in a red convertible with a tanned boy-toy on my arm? Or maybe I'll do the female equivalent and invest in a brand new face and body, complete with inflato lips.

Anyway, for those of you who are interested in doing some virtual stalking of your own--beware. It may turn out to be a colossal waste of time. You might find out something you wished you hadn't. Or you may, with the evidence of others' perceived successes, be forced to face some tough facts about your own life. Don't say I didn't warn you.

PS for the curious, here's the link to J's preschool.

The Best (Non)Fried Chicken Recipe Ever

Thanks to a childhood spent in the deep South, I L-O-V-E fried chicken. But I can definitely do without the calories and artery-clogging grease. So for the past few years, I have been on a quest for a great baked chicken recipe that closely mimics the flavor and texture you get with excellent fried chicken. For the most part, I've been pretty disappointed by what I've seen. Most of the recipes either result in chicken that's too dry or lacking in flavor (or both). And none of them have been so good that they could fool someone into thinking he/she is eating fried chicken. Until today, that is.

On a whim, I decided to try yet another recipe I found online. I didn't have much hope for the outcome. But I'm nothing if not persistant. After a little bit of tinkering, I ended up with something that was very close to fried chicken in terms of flavor and texture. And the chicken was incredibly moist!

As much as I'd like to hoard this little gem for myself...my desire to share has overruled my more selfish inclinations. Apologies to those of you not residing in the U.S....you will probably need to visit a conversion site for the most accurate ingredient measurements. Oh, and the inspiration for this recipe (which I modified to improve the flavor) comes to us from the Martha Stewart Everyday Food website on PBS.org.

J's Buttermilk Baked Chicken

Serves 4-6, prep and cook time: 45 mins

Vegetable oil, for baking sheet
2-3 cups Panko breadcrumbs (I use this brand...the Italian one is great)
2 cups buttermilk
1 teaspoon hot-pepper sauce (optional, if you have kids, don't bother)
Salt and pepper
¾ cup grated Parmesan cheese (2 ½ ounces)
1 teaspoon dried thyme
4 pounds chicken parts (preferably legs, thighs, and wings), rinsed and patted dry. Best to buy it with skin on to increase moisture when baking.

1. Preheat oven to 400°. Generously rub or spray a baking sheet with oil.
2. In a large baking dish, stir together buttermilk and, if adding, hot-pepper sauce. Place chicken pieces in dish, turning once to coat with buttermilk. Cover dish with foil or plastic wrap and place in fridge for two to three hours. In some cases, you may need to divide the chicken between two dishes depending on quantity.
3. In another bowl, mix breadcrumbs, Parmesan, thyme, salt, and pepper (to taste).
4. Lift individual chicken pieces, let excess buttermilk drip off, and dredge in breadcrumb mixture, turning to coat evenly. Place coated chicken pieces on prepared baking sheet.
5. Bake until chicken is golden brown, about 35 minutes.

Note: Leave enough space between the chicken pieces so that they crisp evenly all the way around. You can use breadcrumbs other than panko but I personally have found panko gives just the right amount of crunch to the texture. Also, many breadcrumb mixes already have salt and other herbs included. Be sure to taste before you add salt or thyme to mix.

A Confession

It has been over a year since I last visited the dentist. Yes, it's true. I know it's a huge cliche...but I hate going. Hate it. There are three reasons for this:

1) I still have my wisdom teeth. And no dentist visit is ever complete without a doctor peering worriedly at my x-rays while pointing out the obvious, "You know you've got some wisdoms in there. We really should get those guys out before they push against your back teeth causing complete chaos and destruction in your mouth." (Actually, my dentist never says that last bit but for whatever reason, that's what I hear). Let me be clear: I DO NOT want to have my wisdom teeth pulled.

2) I'm a grinder and a clencher. No idea what I'm talking about? Then you're lucky. In a nutshell, I clench and grind my teeth in my sleep. Not only does this leave me with a frequently sore jaw in the morning (and at high risk for lock jaw), it handily strips my molars of all protective enamel coating. Which brings me to my final point...

3) I am highly prone to getting cavities. This generally means many of my dentist appointments end up with an up close and personal visit with a needle.

The rational person will probably read this list and think, "All the more reason for you to go to the dentist on a regular basis! What's your problem?!"

But I, sadly, am far from rational when it comes to the dentist. To put it mildly, I am frequently reduced to a quivering mass of fear when I receive one of those "It's been six months!" reminder cards in the mail. I have no idea why. I've never really had a traumatic dentist visit that I can think of. Well, except for ten years ago when I went to my first (and last) appointment at a dentist of Russian Jewish descent. I had no idea about the Russian Jewish part...until she spotted the book I'd brought in which was, very unfortunately for me, entitled: Explaining Hitler. Never mind that it was written by a Jewish guy who was trying to understand what happened in Hitler's early life that led to the Holocaust. The title and, dare I say, cute cover photo of Hitler as a baby most certainly did not endear me to the dentist. (true story, BTW).

Anyway, you get my point.

So now I'm in a state. Or more accurately, my teeth are in a state. I know for a fact that I've got some, shall we say, problem areas. It's difficult to ignore when you find yourself only chewing your food on one side of your mouth. And the very rational part of me knows that the longer I put off the inevitable, the worse it will be for me. So why the f--k can't I get up the courage to make the damn appointment?!? Do I really want to have false teeth by the time I'm 40?

Maybe I'm feeling guilty for not visiting as frequently as I should. Maybe I should find a new dentist, start fresh. And come up with a reasonable sounding cover story for him/her to explain the poor quality of my teeth, "Yes, I know they're in a sorry state. Truth is, I've been living in the UK*/a cave/on a desert island for two years..."

Ugh. Now that I've written this down, I realize how ridiculous I sound. I just need to get off my ass, stop being a wuss, and make the damn appointment. Or accept the fact that if I don't, I may soon have less teeth than my 7-mos old daughter.

*I felt compelled to belatedly add this quick note in case I inadvertently pissed off my British readers. Bad teeth jokes aside, I suspect there are large numbers of British folks out there with much better teeth than me.

The Long Weekend...(and a Revealation About Sheets)

I'm off celebrating the long weekend and as a result, I won't be back to regular posting mode until Tuesday morning. Sorry to disappoint my legions of fans!! But even a serial blogger needs to take a break now and again. I do, however, want to make a very quick comment about sheets. Yes, sheets.

On Friday, for the first time EVER, I was able to put the fitted bottom sheet on our King-sized bed without a single corner bunching up at the top or side...in one try. Perhaps you are Martha Stewart. Or incredibly talented in the sheet department. But for whatever reason, I am almost completely incapable of putting our sheets on the right way. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out a reliable method to determine which way is correct. This usually means I have to try multiple times until I get it right. I've looked for tags or subtle signs. But it never, ever works. So I'm still feeling a bit smug, if baffled, after Friday's unexpected success. I think the people who make sheets should put some sort of directions on fitted sheets, like "bottom here" or "this way up". It would be SO helpful.

Which brings me my next comment...still related to sheets but not to my experience on Friday. Is it just my in-laws or have the Europeans really not embraced fitted sheets? This is a question I've had for years. And it's not just my Irish in-laws. I cannot recall seeing a single fitted sheet in a hotel or private home anywhere I've had the pleasure of staying in Europe or the UK. Why?! Is there something bad about fitted sheets that I'm not aware of? Or are they simply not cool? Too American? As in, "Typical lazy Americans. Can't be bothered to take a few extra minutes to tuck in a bottom sheet. No wonder they are [fill in favorite American slur here: a) so fat b) so obnoxious c) so stupid d) all of the above]."

Do you have the answer? Or maybe you have proof that fitted sheets DO in fact exist in Europe? If so, let me know.

PS While writing this post, I found several links with detailed instructions on another basic skill that has eluded me for years: how to correctly fold a fitted sheet. Take a look for yourself.

Leftover Party Food: A Charitable Solution

Two recent events inspired me to write this post:
1) M's big party (of which we thankfully had minimal leftovers)
2) The troubling sight of two homeless men duking it out at the stoplight of a major freeway offramp. I suspect one fellow had moved into the other guy's territory and the original "owner" was not pleased. The fight reached a crescendo when one guy smacked the other in the face with his cardboard sign. After running to the opposite curb for safety, the smackee proceeded to pelt his nemesis with random bits of food from a Taco Bell bag. The saddest part of said incident was when the food thrower instantly appeared to regret his strategy and scrambled back into the road to grab the bits of burrito and nachos he'd tossed. Obviously when you're homeless, food is a precious resource and not to be squandered in a moment of ill-temper.

So you've just had a big bash...maybe a birthday soiree or a dinner party. Whatever it was...it likely involved large quantities of food. And now you're stuck with a buttload of leftovers. In fact, you have way more than you can actually fit in your fridge and/or manage to eat before it spoils. What to do?

Option A: Foist it on reluctant party goers and let it become their problem
Option B: Fido! Time for dinner (and breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, ad nauseum...literally)
Option C: Cram it into any open space you can find in your fridge and freezer and then promptly forget about half of it only to remember weeks later when something starts to smell funny
Option D: Sneak out to your trash can in the dark of night, look both ways, and then guiltily toss as much as you can inside

Thankfully, there is one more option. It'll allow you to take a little walk on the wild side, get rid of your food (sans guilt), and do something nice in the process.

I present to you Option E: Package up the leftovers, hop in the car, drive down to your local homeless shelter, and hand over food. Voila!

It may sound odd but most homeless shelters are usually more than happy to accept your leftovers...as long as they are fresh and in good condition (aka not likely to cause shelter residents to succumb to food poisoning). In fact, many of the more philanthropic catering companies and restaurants are in the habit of donating leftover food.

Sometimes, however, there are rules to what they can and can't accept. Some shelters, for example, will only take professionally prepared food (food prepped by restaurants, caterers, hospitals, event planners, corporate cafeterias, etc). Not sure what to donate (or where)? Do a quick search for homeless shelter + your local city name. And then scan the shelter web site for a "donations" section where you'll typically find a list of food items they will (and won't) accept.

PS If you're in the San Jose area, the Julian Street Inn (the only shelter in the Santa Clara Valley dedicated to mentally ill homeless men and women) typically accepts leftover donations. We've dropped off all sorts of items there--cake slices, hors d'oeuvres, fruit baskets, etc--without any issues.

J Agrees to Attend M's Preschool Potluck (no, I'm not drunk)

Today I did a very brave thing. I RSVP'd to M's upcoming preschool potluck.

What's the big deal, you ask? Let's just say being too social has never been a problem for me. In truth, I typically loathe large gatherings in which I am expected to make small talk with people I don't know (and sometimes, even with people I do know). First off, I suck at small talk. I find it boring and can barely keep my eyes from glazing over when I'm in the midst of it. Secondly, too many people exhaust me. I have a hard time filtering out all the conversations and activities going on around me. So I notice everything to the extent that I become quickly overwhelmed and over stimulated. Generally the only way I can cope at social events is by getting drunk. But something tells me that won't be an option at the preschool potluck (file that one under "how not to make a good impression in 20 seconds or less").

We don't actually have to go to this thing. It's not mandatory. But one of the reasons we chose this preschool over many others was because they seem to be hellbent on fostering a strong parent community. K and I aren't churchgoers by any stretch of the imagination and we don't live in one of those "block party" neighborhoods. So we jump at any opportunity we have to belong to a larger community of families. And we want to start off on the right foot...get to know the kids and parents M will be interacting with for the next two years.

Which brings me to my decision to RSVP. After some deliberation, I bit the bullet and sent an email saying we'd go. Shortly after, I received an email from the directress asking what type of meal I'd like to bring (it being a potluck and all). I have a choice between a main course or a side dish/appetizer. I've opted for side dish/appetizer.

Now I just have to come up with something to bring. A german potato salad seems so dull. Ditto on the three-bean salad and pasta salad. It needs to be relatively simple to make, something that doesn't require reheating, and a definite "tried and true" recipe--as my mom would tell me, this isn't the time to experiment.

So far I found two recipes online that seem to fit the bill: Monica's Organic Edamame Salad (it's the second recipe on the page) and Joanne Weir's Cucumber and Feta Salad. I find myself leaning towards the feta and cucumber salad, mostly because I'm a freak for feta. But what do you think? Or maybe you have a killer potluck recipe you want to share? Bring it on!

In which I fantasize about a multi-family vacation

If you read this post...and this one...you'll (rightly) guess I've got vacations on the brain. In the past, pre-layoff and small children, this is the time of year when K and I would typically head off to warmer climes for a long weekend or week. I looked forward to these little trips partly for the tropical drinks, azure waters, and endless beach activities. But also simply for the opportunity to get out of Dodge for a while and disconnect from the rat race back home.

Last year, when we decided to stop off in St. Thomas for several days (on our way to Ireland), we were accompanied by Miss M. It wasn't the first time we'd vacationed with her but it was the first time we'd done so without any grandparents or extended family around to help out. We had a great time but it wasn't exactly the relaxing idyll I'd had in mind.

Of course I realize we were lucky to go to St. Thomas at all. And it was a fabulous trip. But the truth is, unless you can drop the kiddies off with someone else, vacations take on a whole new look and feel. Gone are the endless days of relaxing on a beach with a good book or staying out late at a gourmet restaurant. No more serene boutique hotels with gorgeous views and spa visits.

Now, if you are lucky enough to go on a vacation at all, it's more likely to take place at a family resort (a la Beaches or, in my opinion, the much classier Club Med or anything from the Marriott chain). And it generally means you will be up at the crack of dawn for buffet breakfast, hanging out in your hotel room for at least 1.5 hours while the kiddies nap, off to an early dinner, and in bed typically no later than 10:00pm. If your kids are under five, you can pretty much kiss most tours or water activities (aside from swimming, paddleboating, or snorkeling) goodbye. Oh, and we haven't even discussed the thrill of a 4+ hour flight with small children.

So I'm beginning to think the key to having an enjoyable vacation with kids is to go with another family or group of families. It makes sense. The kids can generally keep themselves entertained for a few hours while the adults have some semblance of relaxation under the beach umbrella. And there are enough adults around to tag team the little ones as needed. So maybe the parents of each family rotate care duties so each couple has a chance to go off solo for a day. And let's face it...when the inevitable meltdowns come, they'll be SO much easier to cope with when you are surrounded by friends who can help you laugh it off.

Also, in this day and age of crap economic times and tight budgets...vacationing with other people can help cut costs dramatically. Many resorts offer package deals to groups. It's a lot easier to rent a cool beach house when you pool together your resources. And some vacations...like say renting a houseboat on Lake Mead...are best done in groups.

But here's the problem. How the hell do you organize something like this? Given most parents work and have limited vacation time....and generally use that time to visit family on the other side of the country....how do two or more families pull this off? And more importantly, how do you convince others to join you? I suspect most people would be slightly worried about being stuck with another family for more than a few days. The truth is, people who you like in relatively short doses could, unexpectedly, turn into major pains in the ass over a series of days.

Has anyone else vacationed with another (non-blood tie) family? If so, how did you make it work? Or did it? Do tell.

Happy Birthday My Little Drama Queen!

Today is M's real birthday. Even though she had her official party over the weekend, K and I felt compelled to give her a little celebration this evening. We'll be having one of her favorite foods, homemade pizza, and a small treat for dessert (TBD), and then she gets to watch a brief movie of some sort before bed. This is all assuming, of course, that M's in a good mood by the time she comes home from daycare. You never know these days.

So I wanted to give a shout out to my firstborn and, according to my parents and K, doppleganger. M is a study in contrasts...delicate looking yet liable to drop trou at any given moment and ask random passerbys to smell her bottom; not a huge fan of animals but definitely a fan of babies and small children; very, very affectionate as long as it's on HER terms (space invaders need not apply); easily distracted yet capable of honing in on a speck of dirt lying on the carpet in another room; sweet tempered except when she's not. M loves to be the focus of attention and will inevitably up the dramatics significantly if it'll turn heads. But she also loves to snuggle with me in the morning and, impressive for a three-year old, will lie quietly in bed so as not to wake her sister.

When M was born early on a rainy Friday morning, she was very tiny and thin. Towards the end of my pregnancy something had gone awry with the placenta and for about two to three weeks before her birth, M wasn't getting much nutrition to speak of. She looked like a scrawny little bird when she popped out...and I expected her to start squawking the moment they put her in my arms. Instead, she stared at me silently with her big gray eyes as if to say, "I know who you are. But do you know me?"

I remember how she used to lie on me in the early hours of the morning when it was still dark out. It was the only way she'd sleep for the first few months. I'd lie on my back and listen to her soft breathing. And waves of emotion would sweep over me--fatigue, anxiety, wonder, and awe. "I made you," I would think. "And you are mine." It was at that point that I could completely understand the primal protective urge of all mammalian mothers everywhere.

From the beginning, M has always had a special thing for K. That's fine by me. I read somewhere that a daughter's relationship with her father will inevitably impact (positively or negatively) any future relationships she has with men (or women as the case may be). But she and I share a physical closeness that only a mother can have with her little girl. I stroke her hair, she asks to brush mine. We hold hands, our thumbs unconciously caressing each other's palms. She places her cold feet on my belly or back when she snuggles with me in the morning. M is her own person but in a way I cannot possibly describe or put into words, she is also an extension of me. Although the physical cord was cut three years ago today, its spirit still lives on and continues to draw us into one another's orbit.

Happy birthday sweetpea! Here's to many, many, many more.

Love, Mommy

Update to M's Birthday Party Post: The Cake

A few of you have asked, offline, how the palace bundt pan worked and what I think happened with the frosting.

Bundt pan was fine....but again, cake is a bit fragile so you need to move gently and swiftly when cooling and decorating it. It really shouldn't sit too long prior to being eaten. As you can see from the photo in my post below, it's somewhat top heavy and....as a result...prone to collapsing on the sides. Be sure you do not fill the pan to the top with batter....leave about an inch of space between the batter and the top so the cake doesn't get TOO big and end up looking more like a fancy boat, less like a palace proper.

Frosting...I honestly don't know. But I can tell you..please do NOT do as the Swiss Buttercream recipe here suggests and re-whip the frosting after refrigerating. My suggestion: make the frosting just before you plan to decorate the cake (give yourself 20 minutes of prep time), frost the cake, then refrigerate. It's DELICIOUS and totally worth doing. I'm still miffed I had to substitute with shitty store-bought stuff. Oh well.

Oh, and freezing then thawing the strawberries before you puree is definitely the way to go. Unlike with the Pink Lady cupcakes I made, you could actually taste the strawberries in the cake. And why not use any leftover puree as a sauce to pour over the cake and/or strawberry ice cream? It's delicious.

If you haven't already read it my earlier post, you can find out how the party went here.

M's Birthday Party: A Survivor's Tale

I am no longer the smug mother who couldn't bear to think of my little darling having a party at *gasp!* the Little Gym or some such place. Nor will I ever mock another awkwardly-decorated, homemade birthday cake again. Karma, as they say, truly is a bitch.

I suspect (hope) from a guest's perspective, the party was a success. But from the perspective of one of three adults left to clean up the mounds of glitter, crepe paper, frosting, cheap toys, half-empty bottles of water and beer, crushed juice boxes, warmed-over guacamole, stale chips, wrapping paper, and Christ knows what else...it was a total nightmare. K and I are no strangers to throwing parties. We've had tons of 'em. But let's just say we've both earned our black belts after this one.

I won't bother giving you a blow-by-blow of every last detail but perhaps a few cake-related highlights (or lowlights) will suffice.

Oh where to start? Maybe after I removed my perfectly exquisite swiss buttercream frosting from the fridge to let it come to room temperature before I, per the recipe, rewhipped it to a spreadable consistency. Only to have it suddenly, and without warning, turn into a goopy curdled mess. At 1:00pm. An hour and a half before the start of M's party.

Or how about when I foolishly attempted to make a second batch of frosting...only to have it curdle immediately after I began adding the butter. At 1:30pm.

By 1:45pm, I had to admit defeat and bow down to the wisdom of my mother who sent my dad to Safeway to grab three cans of Betty Crocker Vanilla Cream Frosting which we then dumped into a large bowl and mixed with my fresh strawberry puree and various shades of food coloring.

But that's not all, folks! Because it was shortly thereafter that the side of my lovely strawberry palace bundt cake decided to detatch itself from the mother ship and plop into the frosting of the base cake beneath. After MUCH wailing and gnashing of teeth, K came to the rescue and carefully repaired it with the help of several toothpicks.

After that, it's all a bit of a blur. When I'm hosting a party, especially when there are lots of people and food and entertainment involved, I feel like I'm in the middle of a very long out-of-body experience. It's hard to describe....but it's as if everything is speeding by in a whirl aside from a few brief moments where I can focus on a person or conversation. When you add many small children to the mix, it becomes less like an out-of-body experience and more like a very bad LSD trip.

Anyway, enough about me. Here's a photo of what our house looked like after the party (I'm sparing you a pic of the backyard. Imagine, if you will, post-eruption Pompeii...sans the bodies, of course...):

And for what it's worth, here's a photo of the cake from hell complete with dripping icing thanks to the 90+ degree temps outside (but, apparently, it was still a success in spite--or because?--of the shitty frosting I was forced to use at the last minute):


And that, my friends, is that. Frankly, I cannot bear to think of going through this all over again in October for Z's b-day. Perhaps the Jehovah's Witnesses are onto something?

Please Hold...

This will be my shortest post ever. Or at least, my shortest post since I started this blog back in April. Today I'm rolling up my sleeves and diving into the pink and purple glitter-filled world of M's princess (and knight) party. Heaven help me. I'll attempt to bake her cake first thing this morning and, assuming it isn't a complete disaster, I will then attempt to decorate it. Then I will be surrounded by 15 children all under the age of six. If you don't hear from me by Monday, please notify my loved ones.

The Mystery Plant

Can someone please take a look at the photo below and identify the flower? We inherited this garden when we bought the house. For the first two years this shrub did not bloom. Now all of a sudden it's as if the plant is on steroids. But not being much of a gardener, I haven't a clue what it is. If you know, feel free to comment below.

Thanks!

Have You Heard of TasteBook?

I hadn't. But when I went to my friend Becca's house last week, she showed me some cookbooks her mom made for her using TasteBook. They were filled with old family recipes...but looked like something she'd picked up at a bookstore with glossy photos, nice fonts, and recipes organized by meal types. I was duly impressed.

I've decided one of my summer projects will be to gather all my family recipes and create a cookbook at TasteBook for myself and a few copies for my girls (for when they are older, of course) and my mom. I only wish I'd heard about these well in advance of my mom's birthday (or Mother's Day, for that matter). Oh well.

But I'm not just interested in collecting my own family recipes. I'd like to collect any family recipe as long as they are time-tested, family-friendly, and super yummy. If you have one you'd like to pass my way, please do!

I Hate My Closet

No doubt when K reads the title of this post he'll roll his eyes and call me (if he's at the office) or turn to me (if he's at home) and say, "It wouldn't be so bad if you'd make an effort to keep it organized instead of just piling everything on the shelves." To some degree, he's right. I planned to include a photo so you can see what he's talking about but then I chickened out. I admit, it looks pretty bad in there. But it's not just that I'm a slob (I am...but I'm a recovering slob) and have a hard time keeping my things organized in neat little piles (I do). It's also that I cannot stand my closet. It is:

- dark
- narrow
- difficult to maneuver in

My house was built in the late 1950s. This was apparently a time when Americans were not terribly concerned with closet space. I'm not sure why. From the looks of the clothes men and women were wearing back in the day, it seems like they could have used as much space as possible for their sweater sets, pin skirts, suspenders, ties, shoes, hats, accessories, etc. But for whatever reason, closets in the 1950s were relatively small affairs.

At some point in the last 50 years, our master bedroom closet received a makeover. Someone, likely a woman, had clearly had enough of not being able to fit all her clothes inside. Or perhaps it was her husband who, tired of not having any space for his own clothes and shoes, decided something needed to be done. In any case, the closet was widened a tad and the back wall was knocked back several inches. Obviously this was good enough for those folks. I'm sure it was a big improvement on the original closet. But....

...I still think it sucks.

Part of the problem is the design. I could, were I so inclined, stand inside the closet and peruse the shelves. Of course I wouldn't be able to see anything. That's because unlike a proper walk-in closet, it has sliding doors (which always cast a shadow from whatever side is closed) and it's quite deep. Even on a bright sunny day, I have a tough time differentiating between various items of clothing. And because the closet is located just to the left of my bed and nightstand, I can barely squeeze into the side where all my pants and shirts are located.

When we moved in, K installed one of those inexpensive closet systems from Home Depot. It's not quite as luxurious as these, but it fit our budget and was relatively easy to install. I had high hopes for my new shelving unit...I diligently hung and folded my clothes and lovingly tucked them into their new home. I was a veritable queen of organization...for about three weeks. And then slowly, but surely, a small pile of folded items began collecting on the middle shelf....only to grow into a Mt. Everest of clothes. And that, my friends, is essentially how it's been for a few years...sprinkled with with two or three valiant, but failed, attempts on my part to reorganize things.

Every time I open my closet these days I'm frankly depressed. It's become a blemish in our home. I have fantasies of gutting the damn thing, pouring gasoline inside, and burning it to the ground (not a bad idea if it weren't for the fact that our home, which is attached, would likely suffer in the process).

Does anyone else have closet issues? Or is it just me? If so, how have you managed to keep yourself organized?

Preschoolers and Technology Do Not Mix (IMHO)

Today I received an email with the following catchy subject line: Newsflash: 3-year old tosses PDA out car window!

My first thought upon reading this was, "good for you kid! stick it to the man." Then I opened the email only to belatedly realize it was actually a marketing promo for a new toy from LeapFrog. Here's the teaser link to the landing page. I invite you to take a quick look and then read on.

You back? Ok.

First off, are they effing serious!?

Look. If your kids are desperately trying to get their hands on your PDA of choice, the best solution might not actually be to go out and buy them one of their very own. Instead, you may want to put the goddamn thing down for five minutes and pay attention to your children!

Don't get me wrong. I'm as guilty as the rest of you when it comes to getting sucked into technology when I should be focusing on my kids. And I'm not a complete luddite in terms of technology and children. At some point, kids should learn how to operate a computer, a cell phone, and other devices. These things are here to stay and a kid who has no idea how to use a keyboard or surf the internet is going to be sorely disadvantaged.

But a PDA for preschoolers? Come on LeapFrog. Here we have the perfect example of an innovative toy company squandering its resources to churn out crap.

Let me get this straight. Are they suggesting we parents hand this little gem over to our three and four-year olds so they can stay occupied while we stare at our Crackberries for hours on end? Do we really want to teach our kids that it's ok to tune out their surroundings and instead focus their attention on a hand-held device? Of course I realize this isn't a real PDA for little kids...just a wanna-be that claims to teach them their ABCs. I personally don't care if the damn thing can teach them calculus! The bottom line is, a toy like this is designed to stop kids from interacting with the outside world. And that, frankly, is the last thing kids these days need.

Lest you think I'm overreacting, let me further explain why this toy irks the hell out of me. A lot of studies have been done over the past 30 years with regards to how young children learn. And turns out, kids who are given free-play time outdoors and indoors and given the opportunity to tap into their innate creativity, generally turn into well-adjusted, confident, and intelligent adults. Conversely, kids who spend the majority of their time interacting with things as opposed to people and nature never really learn how to connect with those around them. They are generally more aggressive, have shorter attention spans, and lack the empathy and problem-solving skills of their peers.

Of course, I'm totally oversimplifying things here. There are myriad reasons why some kids struggle and others don't. Over-exposure to technology is likely just one of many contributing factors. But I guess it pisses me off that we keep pushing young children to resist their natural desire to explore their surroundings by foisting ridiculous, battery-operated, plastic crap on them. And especially knowing as much as we do today about how young children learn, its just plain irresponsible.

PS Two excellent NPR interviews that discuss what I've been ranting and raving about above: here and here
PPS Full disclosure: M has a V-Tech laptop toy given to her by my mom a few birthdays ago. My mom now admits she bought it in a fit of senility
PPPS Oh, and M LOVES her mini-laptop

The Tyranny of Lunches

M starts preschool on June 1. K and I are VERY excited...perhaps (but doubtful) even more so than Miss M herself. The school, at least on paper, looks and sounds uber-fabulous. I'm really looking forward to M meeting more kids her own age. I'm also looking forward to meeting more parents and hopefully making a few new friends (please, please, please don't let them all be a bunch of drips). What I'm not looking forward to is the fact that as of June 1, I will have to provide all of M's lunches.

I'm spoiled, I admit it. The wonderful owner of M's current daycare prepares all the kids lunches every day from scratch. So aside from packing a few pieces of fruit and yogurt each morning (and I don't even have to do that), I'm not expected to lift a single finger when it comes to managing her weekly lunches.

Sadly, those days will soon be over. And this has me more than a little freaked out. The thing is, M is used to eating BIG meals for lunch--pastas, soups, pizza--and lots of Syrian and Armenian dishes that I haven't a clue how to create. But her preschool has asked us to try and limit the number of lunches that will need to be reheated in the microwave. It makes sense...they've got a few dozen kids there at any given time and lunch would take far too long if each kid had something that needed to be reheated. However this creates a larger problem for me--aside from PB&J, M just isn't into sandwiches. So what to do?

I have been reading through a number of "kid" cookbooks to see if I can find inspiration. Some of them (one in particular) have loads of really great ideas. But only a few have recipes for meals that don't need to be reheated or prepared on the spot. And the even bigger challenge is, will she actually eat the lunches or go on a hunger strike? Oh, and from a purely selfish perspective, I'm just not looking forward to making lunches every frigging night.

So here I am. In the early stages of a full-blown panic. I suppose in my copious amounts of free time, I need to start trying out some recipes on her to see what works/what doesn't. And then make copies of the "hits" for future reference. But I don't WANT to. I don't want to deal with lunches at all. Nor do I look forward to the mounting pressure as M begins comparing her lunch with the lunches of other kids...kids whose moms and dads are gourmet chefs and Martha Stewart rolled into one.

Sigh.

Anyway, if you have any great kid-friendly, easy-to-prepare, cold lunch ideas or recipes....do share. I can use all the help I can get at the moment.

Pink Lady (Cup)Cake

UPDATE: See bullets below for an additional suggestion on how to bring out the strawberry flavor in a naturally-flavored strawberry cake. Picked it up from the Use Real Butter blog.

M's birthday is next weekend. I decided to make my own cake with a princess theme. After a long time spent searching for the perfect cake idea, my friend Becca came across this cute bundt pan at a local baking supply store. I found it on Amazon for slightly less and ordered one. Because of the design, I won't be able to frost it the way I would a normal layer cake. So I went online to try and find a colored cake that didn't require tons of food coloring and artificial flavoring. Enter this delicious looking strawberry-flavored Pink Lady Cake from the Smitten Kitchen blog.

Now I'm no baker, to say the least. So I decided to do a practice run. I whipped up some cupcakes for my friend Chris for her daughter's first birthday. In the end, they turned out (I think) beautifully and I had a lot of fun making them.

I've included the recipe below with two versions of frosting (one for kids and one for grownups) and a few minor tweaks of the original recipe (which by the way, is actually a modified version of the Pink Lady Cake found in this book).

But first, a few FYI items:

• Because this recipe calls for fresh or frozen strawberries rather than artificial flavoring (like strawberry jello) in the cake batter, the strawberry flavor is extremely subtle. Which is why I recommend adding a few tablespoons of strawberry puree to the frosting as it will help bring out the flavor more.
• UPDATE: An idea I just found online and will be trying this week: Wash 2-3 cups of fresh strawberries and lop the tops off. Then freeze the strawberries before puréeing because freezing pops the cell walls and releases better flavor. When the strawberries have frozen solid, thaw them completely (If you have time, in the fridge. If not, on the countertop) and purée in a food processor or blender. Note: you will want to freeze and thaw strawberries at least a day in advance of cake preparation.
• A few drops of red or dark pink food coloring are absolutely necessary if you want to have a pink-tinged cake. If you don't care, don't bother.
• If you can't find cake flour or you want to use an organic cake flour (which is pretty hard to find) there's a fast way to make it at home: Whenever the recipe calls for a cup of cake flour, swap with 3/4 cup all-purpose flour + 2 tablespoons cornstarch, sifted together.
• If, like me, you decide to use industrial-strength food gel dye to color the cake and frosting, be absolutely sure you don't get any on your skin, clothes, or countertop. Because these dyes are concentrated, a little goes a long way and it stains. My fingers were bright pink for at least a day after I prepared the cupcakes.

Now for the recipes!

Pink Lady Cake

This recipe is for a triple-layer cake. If you don't feel like pulling that off, then do what I did and turn it into cupcakes. Oh, and be warned, the batter is HEAVENLY.

4 1/2 cups cake flour
3 cups sugar
5 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
3 sticks (12 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 1/2 cups pureed frozen or fresh strawberries*
8 egg whites
2/3 cup milk
1 to 2 drops red or dark pink food dye, if using (to make the pink color pop more)

*I used fresh but if they are out of season, go ahead and use frozen. Just be sure to thaw them a tad before you puree.

1. Preheat the oven to 350»F. Butter three 9-inch round or 8-inch square cake pans. Line with parchment or waxed paper and butter the paper.
2. Put the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large mixer bowl. With the electric mixer on low speed, blend for 30 seconds. Add the butter and strawberry puree and mix to blend the ingredients. Raise the speed to medium and beat until light and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes; the batter will resemble strawberry ice cream at this point.
3. In another large bowl, whisk together the egg whites, milk and red/pink food dye, if using, to blend. Add the whites to the batter in two or three additions, scraping down the sides of the bowl well and mixing only to incorperate after each addition. Divide the batter among the three prepared pans.
4. Bake the cakes for 30 to 34 minutes, or until a cake tester or wooden toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Allow the layers to cool in the pans for 10to 15 minutes. Invert and turn out onto wire racks and peel off the paper liners. Let stand until completely cooled before assembling the cake, at least an hour.
5. Place one cake layer on a cake board or platter. Tucking scraps of waxed paper under the edges of the cake will protect the board or plate from any mess created while frosting the cake. Spread about 2/3 cup frosting over the layer, spreading it to the edge. Repeat with the second layer. Add the top layer and frost the top and sides of cake with remaining frosting, reserving a small amount if you wish to tint it and pipe a decoration on the cake. If not, you can decorate the cake top with thinly-sliced strawberries. Remove the waxed strips to reveal and neat, clean cake board.

Frosting for Grownups (Cream Cheese Frosting)

3 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese softened
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks; 6 ounces) unsalted butter, softened
3 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Optional: Add two to three tablespoons of strawberry puree
Optional: Add two to three drops of pink food coloring

1. In a medium bowl, cream together the cream cheese and butter until creamy.
2. Mix in the vanilla, puree, and food coloring.
3. Then gradually stir in the confectioners’ sugar.
4. Store in the refrigerator after use.

Frosting for Kids (Swiss Buttercream Icing)

Some kids really do not like the taste of cream cheese frosting (as I witnessed first hand at my friend's party). I think it can be a bit strong for some young palates. So if you're making this for a kid's party, best to use the child-friendly frosting below. Also, you will probably want to double the quantity for this recipe if you plan to frost and fill a multi-layer cake.

Yields about 3 cups
1 cup sugar
4 large egg whites
26 tablespoons butter, softened (3 sticks plus 2 tablespoons)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Optional: Add two to three tablespoons of strawberry puree
Optional: Add two to three drops of pink food coloring

1. Whisk egg whites and sugar in a large metal bowl over simmering water until sugar is dissolved.
2. Remove from heat and use an electric mixer to whip egg mixture until it turns white and doubles in size.
3. Add vanilla and begin adding butter a stick at a time. Whip until mixture forms a fluffy, smooth icing.
4. Add strawberry puree and food coloring. Whip just to mix.

Swiss buttercream can be refrigerated in an airtight container until needed. The icing may need to sit out to soften and may require additional whipping in order to spread.

We interrupt this blog...

May is here. Let the insanity begin! Seriously, this month is going to be hectic. Between four birthday parties, a three-day weekend, Mother's Day, and ramping M up for her first day of preschool on June 1 (which includes one (1) dentist app, one (1) physical exam, two (2) 30-minute visits to preschool prior to offical start date, and my frantic scramble to come up with daily lunches M will actually eat on a regular basis)...it's going to be effing INSANE!

Which is why, dear reader, I will likely be forced to cut back a tad on my blog posts for the coming weeks. This isn't to say I'm giving up entirely...I suspect I'll still manage to eke out at least three to four posts per week. But don't be surprised if posts get a bit shorter and fewer. Less is more, as they say!

There, there my dears...it won't be so bad. I suspect all three of you will somehow manage to get through the day. At a loss for what to do with yourselves? Take a gander at some of my favorite blogs and web sites on the bottom right of the page....

Cheers!

Please Tell Me How to Make a Decent Salad...

Last Saturday I took K to Chez Panisse (for those of you who read this post, please note the dinner was pretty good however I really could have done without the squab livers. ick). My favorite part of the meal was...wait for it...the salad. Yes folks, the salad. It was as simple as can be: mixed baby lettuces, a mild vinagrette, salt, and pepper. But it was incredibly good.

Which begs the question...how is it that something so basic can be so frigging hard to make? Am I retarded? Lest you think "yes, Jen...I suspect you are retarded," let me clarify. Of course I can throw some lettuce and veggies into a bowl, toss with dressing, salt, and pepper, and end up with a perfectly edible, if average, salad. But that's not what I'm looking for. I want the kind of salad you can only seem to get at upscale restaurants in California but are available to every Tom, Dick, and Hugo in France.

The one that looks and tastes like this:


Not this:


Before you jump to further conclusions about my culinary skills (or lack thereof) I also want to point out that I generally buy the freshest greens at our local farmer's market + use extra virgin olive oil for our vinaigrette. So what gives? What's the trick? The really good salads all seems to be room temperature...but when I try to emulate this, my leaves inevitably wilt. And what exacty do you use for the vinaigrette? I thought it was simply extra virgin olive oil and vinegar (balsamic or white/red wine) with a little dijon mustard thrown in from time to time. Is there more to it? Or less?

Help!!!!

Birthday Party Gift Bags: Why?

Whether you bake your own cake or order it from a bakery; whether you play homemade party games or go for the "party in a box"; whether you decide to serve lunch and cake or just cake....no matter how you slice it (pun intended), children's birthday parties ain't cheap. Which is why I find myself rebelling against the idea of party gift bags.

See...if I'm spending oodles of cash on decor, balloons, food, drinks, games, prizes, and other items...why, I ask, should I also fork out even more $$ for frigging post-party favors? Especially since those favors, nine times out of ten, will end up lost or broken mere minutes after the guests leave. Who's idea was it to introduce party favors to kids parties anyway?

I cannot, for the life of me, ever recall a birthday party I hosted or attended as a child that included a parting gift bag of any sort. There were definitely games and cake and sometimes prizes. But I never once walked out the door clutching a bag filled with crap I simply did not need. And you know what? I survived to tell the tale.

I have a theory about gift bags and it goes something like this: kids' birthday party bags were invented by wealthy parents who wanted to add a little je ne sais quoi to their darling's soiree. Something to make the party--and birthday girl or boy--stand out more. Something to remind the guests that Payton's mommy and daddy are loaded, and don't you forget it. Seriously, who else but people with more money than sense would come up with the idea to hand out a few dozen individually bagged, color-, gender-, and theme-coordinated parting gifts for a CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAY PARTY?!

Favor bags for weddings and showers, I get. They're little mementos from a very special (and hopefully, in the case of a wedding, none too frequent) event. But kids attend several parties a year! No kid is going to hang on to a gift bag and its contents for longer than a few hours...and they are definitely not going to cherish said bag as a reminder of a party they attended days, weeks, or months ago:

Little Suzie, gazing at a glow-in-the-dark ball at the bottom of a bright pink and slightly worn gift bag, "Ah yes. This was from Sally Smith's party back in March. Boy was that fun! Although whoever thought buttercream frosted carrot cake was the way to go is clearly in need of therapy."

Now I have a prediction, which--should it come to pass--you can say you read here first: as long as the economy is in the shitter, children's birthday party favor bags will (and should!) go the way of the dodo. And I plan to be at the forefront of that trend.

That said, it's not easy to zig while everyone else zags. Full disclosure: I happily went along with the gift bag trend for M's first birthday. And now I feel pressured by myself, my peers, and a tsunami of upscale party ads on the web and in party supply stores to succumb to the siren call of the parting gift. "It's just a little bag," they say. "A few cheap toys, all carefully aligned with the theme of your party. It's a way to provide closure to the kids as they walk out your front door and head back home. It's a memento of a wonderful time had by all. Just do it, everyone else is!"

But I shall resist. Instead, like legions of parents before me, I will provide cake, fun games, prizes (and a pinata!). And then, a week or so later, I'll send a thank you note.

Viva la revolution!

What exactly are probiotics anyway?

Maybe it's just me...but it feels like I've been hearing an awful lot about probiotics lately. What the hell are they? And what's the big deal?

According to a book I checked out from the library over the weekend (and the always handy-dandy Wikipedia), probiotics are the healthy bacteria that live in our bodies. Also important are prebiotics--nutrients the body gets from food that help foster the well-being of probiotics. Combined, the two help fight off nasty bacteria like salmonella, e. coli, and others. More importantly, ongoing research into probiotics shows they may have a significant role to play in helping our immune systems stay strong and fight off some of the big bugaboos like cancer, food allergies, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and osteoporosis. Probiotics and prebiotics are also a key component in breast milk which, many scientists suspect, has something to do with the fact that babies raised on breast milk tend to have much stronger immune systems than those on formula (and you know the infant formula companies are ALL over this).

Probiotics can be found in live culture yogurt (like this, our family favorite) and raw milk. Prebiotics can be found in soybeans, unrefined wheat and barley, and raw oats. But say you or your kids hate yogurt and raw milk is illegal in your state (or you just don't trust the stuff). What then? That's where supplements come in.

Some infant foods (like the formula above or this cereal product I've been using) have probiotics and some prebiotics built into them. Or you can purchase add-in supplements for everyone in the family. I mix a packet of this with Z's bottle every morning. And M, K, and I use this, which we buy via our family naturopath (for those of you interested in dosing info, M gets 1/4 tsp a day mixed with her morning yogurt).

Supplements are generally sweet tasting and therefore fine to mix with food or drink. Some kids will even eat it straight from the jar. But keep in mind, probiotics usually need to be stored in the fridge and should not be added to food or drink warmer than body temperature (remember, these little guys are alive and can't survive extreme heat).

When should you use prebiotics and probiotics?

• If you have a baby under 12 months and are formula feeding, make sure your formula has supplements as part of the mix OR purchase supplements separately and mix them in yourself.
• If you and/or other family members have been taking antibiotics of any type, always get in the habit of taking supplements or eating yogurt for the course of the drug. Antibiotics, unfortunately, kill both bad and good bacteria. This, for those who care to know, is why many women are susceptible to yeast infections during and after taking antibiotics.
• If you have a child in a daycare or school environment or you are in a job that requires frequent contact with kids (like teaching) or large numbers of people (like retail, social work, etc), probiotics will help strengthen the immune system and increase resilience.
• If you or a family member are suffering from constipation or diarrhea, probiotics can really help get the digestive system back on track.

The down side of probiotic supplements? First off all, they aren't cheap. I suspect you're generally better off (from a cost perspective) getting them via live culture foods like yogurt. Also, like any of the other "miracle" foods out there (acai anyone?) they aren't going to solve every problem under the sun. Probiotics work best in conjunction with a generally healthy diet. In other words, if you subsist on burgers and fries...it's doubtful they are going to have much impact on your well-being.

Ultimately though, given what we know about probiotics and prebiotics so far, I suspect it can't hurt to include them as a part of your regular diet. You can't OD on these puppies...so the worst that could happen is "not much". As for me, it's still early days for my family's foray into the world of probiotic supplements. Check back with me after M starts preschool in June and then when winter cold and flu season has returned...

PS Here's some more great info on probiotics and prebiotics. Note, I suspect they are trying to sell something as well...just ignore the pitch at the end of the article.

Cinco de Mayo: Ole!

Today is Cinco de Mayo so I thought I'd give a shout out to one of my favorite places to visit (Mexico!) and one of my favorite foods (Mexican!). Certainly with the whole flu thing going on (maybe you've heard of it?) Mexico needs all the moral support it can get.

First off, what is Cinco de Mayo? This is something I often wondered about when the holiday suddenly seemed to appear out of nowhere back in the mid-90s. Is it like a Mexican St. Patrick's Day? Mexico's Independence Day? A holiday made up by tequila and beer companies to sell more product? I suspect some of you are vaguely familiar with the holiday's background: that it celebrates Mexico's defeat of French forces at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. But this begs the question (or at least it does for me), what the hell were the French doing in Mexico in the first place?

According to Wikipedia (W, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...) they were there to collect on a debt owed by the previous Mexican government. And May 5 is a big deal historically because a) the Mexicans, although outnumbered two-to-one by the French troops, managed to defeat a much better-equipped army that b) had known no defeat for 50 years and c) because it was the last time an army from another continent invaded the Americas. Vedddy interesting.

Also interesting, Cinco de Mayo is not widely celebrated in Mexico (it's not even considered a federal holiday) but it is--and has been--celebrated in California since the 1860s. I suspect this is because California was, at that time, still largely occupied by families of Mexican descent who remained loyal to their country of origin.

Now let's switch gears. When I was a little girl, before we moved to Georgia, my birthday parties always included a pinata. Pinatas are the bomb. Think about it--what other birthday game allows you to whack the shit out of a paper mache object suspended above your head while blindfolded, only to eventually yield a bounty of candy and toys? Nothing beats the sight of tons of kids scrambling on the ground to grab as much cheap, sugary crap as possible.

So the pinata. For the first time ever...Wikipedia failed me on this one. I had to do some actual digging to see what I could find out. I found a neat history here...but will briefly summarize for those of you who can't be bothered to click the link.

First off, there are some folks who suspect pinatas originated in China. Apparently, per Marco Polo (who I'm frankly a bit dubious of), the Chinese would, during the New Year, create figures with colored paper and stuff them with seeds. The custom then passed to Italy in the 14th century where the Italians would fashion pignatta or "fragile pots" out of clay and use them to carry water during Lent. Then this passed to Spain where the pot was decorated with ribbons, colored paper, and tinsel. When the custom was brought to Central America, it merged with a similar Aztec tradition in which the priests honored the birthday of their war god by decorating a clay pot, stuffing it with little treasures, hanging it from a pole, and letting blindfolded folks hit it with a stick until it broke.

PS for some really cool (and to some degree, disturbing) looking pinatas take a look here, here, and here.

Like a Good Neighbor...

Have you ever driven through (or maybe you live in) one of those adorable neighborhoods filled with houses built at least 60 years ago and completely renovated by wealthy yuppies? You know the ones I'm talking about...with the old-growth trees lining the streets, the house numbers painted on custom Spanish tiles, within walking distance of a cute, completely revamped miniature town complete with an art-house cinema, upscale bistros, boutique hair salons, and coffee shops? And filled to the brim with attractive 30-something couples and their legions of well-behaved, attractive kids?

Now, if you keep on driving for a few more miles, you'll eventually come to a neighborhood where the houses are more box-like; the trees virtually non-existant; and the lawns less manicured (and perhaps filled with decor of questionable taste).* Instead of a cute little cafe, you get a Starbucks. Instead of a boutique store, you get Target.

Welcome to my neighborhood.
*The house just up the street from ours has a white gravel lawn filled, I kid you not, with fake flowers.

Don't get me wrong. I feel darned lucky, especially in this crummy economy, to have a roof over my head. And even though it's not the most chic neighborhood in the area, ours is clean, safe, and it'll do just fine. But....

....well, I'd sure as hell love to have just one laid-back, non-conservative Christian, 30-something couple with young kids on our street. Because at the moment, we are an island of relative youth in a sea of retirees. And while there are many good things to be said about having older folks as neighbors....

1) They're home all day long and therefore, help keep an eye on the overall well-being of the 'hood
2) They remember what it means to be neighborly and are happy to feed the dogs, water the lawn, take out the trash, and check your mail when you are traveling
3) They don't stay up late and blast loud music into the wee hours prompting a 2:00am call to the police

....I would kill for some potential pals for M and Z to show up on the scene.

So you can imagine the feelings of nervousness and excitement I felt on Saturday morning when I glanced out our kitchen window to see this on the front lawn of the house across the street:

Actually, it wasn't a completely surprise. In fact I'd have to have been deaf, dumb, and blind not to realize something was up.

Three or four weeks ago, I walked outside to see the neighbor had dumped the contents of her house into huge piles in the front yard. The following day a giant trash container arrived on the scene. And slowly but surely, over the next few weeks, the items on the lawn disappeared until there was nothing left.

As it turns out, one of the two women who lived there had died. She was elderly and clearly suffered from advanced dementia. At least once a week I would hear her calling for help from her wheelchair on the porch. After her death, her daughter--and primary caretaker--decided it was time to move on. So she enlisted the help of her kids and grandkids to tackle the monumental task of cleaning out and packing up the house. I say monumental because this gal has a bad case of OCD....to the extent that her entire backyard was filled to the brim with crap because there was no longer any room for it in the house.

So now they're gone, the sign is up, and the entire street is waiting breathlessly to see who bites. I confess to being a bit concerned about the state of the house. It's in desperate need of a paint job, the lawn is covered in brown spots, and the property is, overall, a bit run down and dreary. With the housing market being what it is, I suspect most young-ish families are snatching up homes in more upscale neighborhoods. Which makes me a tad worried about just who might end up living across the street from us:

Wish us luck...

Who Reads this Crap?

Seriously. I mean, who are you? And why are you here?

It's driving me crazy that I can't insert a visitor counter at the bottom of the page. And really, there is no other way to get a feel for who is actually reading this thing. Not that I'm anticipating large crowds, or any crowds at all for that matter. But I can't help but be curious as to who, if anyone, actually takes the time out of his/her day to see what I've got to say.

I suspect I know all of you. But maybe not. Can I see a virtual show of hands, via the comment tool below, and get everyone to account for themselves?

Thanks! We'll get back to our regularly scheduled posts Monday morning.

WTF Chez Panisse?!

K's birthday was on Thursday but becuase it's in the middle of the work week, I decided to take him out to dinner on Saturday night. As it happens, I was able to score a reservation at his favorite restaurant: Chez Panisse. Located in Berkeley, this is one of those places that takes reservations one month in advance. Even if you don't know the restaurant, you may have heard of Alice Waters, the woman who--back in the 70s--was a key participant in the creation of California Cuisine and one of the first U.S. restauranteurs to source her food from local organic farms.

One of the cool things about Chez Panisse is that the staff only prepares one prix fixe menu per evening and the menu changes EVERY day. So once a week, the restaurant updates its weekly menu on its website so diners can get a glimpse of what they'll be eating that night. As part of K's gift on Thursday, I printed out the Saturday menu and put it in his birthday card.

You may, like I did, imagine while all the meals at Chez Panisse are fabulous (and they usually are), Saturday's meal must be the best of the week. It makes sense if you think about it. The restaurant probably gets the most customers on the weekend including first-time diners, people celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, etc...so that'd be the day to unveil the "piece de resistance" meal, the one that keeps folks coming back for more. Right?

Let's take a gander at some of the dinners that debuted earlier this week:

On Monday they featured a delicious seafood palella:

Paella de mariscos: Bomba rice with shellfish, Monterey prawns, clams, mussels, seafood sausage, and fava beans

On Tuesday diners were greeting with this delectable sounding dessert:

Cannard Farm rhubarb puff pastry tart with Grand Marnier ice cream

On Wednesday they featured a delicious sounding entree and main course:

Potato gnocchi with lobster, peas, and mint

Roasted pork with prune mostarda, buttermilk-fried spring onions, baby artichokes, and rocket

Thursday's entire menu sounded incredible:

Green asparagus salad with almond salsa and goat cheese toast

Wild Gulf shrimp with Chino Ranch squash gratin

Spit-roasted Marin Sun Farms grass fed beef rib eye with parsley gnocchi, glazed carrots, and rocket

Bourbon ice cream and espresso granita

And tonight's menu features a very yummy sounding main course and dessert:

Grilled rack, loin, and sausage of Dal Porto Ranch lamb, farro with peas and fava beans, stuffed artichokes, and gremolata

Lucero Farms strawberry millefeuille

Based on the above, I could only imagine what wonders we'll be eating on Saturday. Venison, or veal (though I hope not because I don't do veal), or perhaps duck? And the dessert...maybe a souffle or a tart...something warm and creamy with a touch of fruit and sauce...and maybe chocolate! Let's take a look see, shall we?

Fava bean salad with squab livers and nepetella

Spring garlic brodo with piccolo fritto

Grilled squab in balsamic reduction with Meyer lemon and pea risotto, and chervil salad

Rose ice cream and rhubarb sherbet coupe

Ummm...what?! So let me get this straight, Chez Panisse. While the other folks who were lucky enough to dine with you EVERY OTHER DAY of last week were feted with beef, pork, rack of lamb, and seafood paella....K and I get pigeon (and their livers), garlic broth, and rose ice cream?!?!?!?!??!?!? Are you serious?!

The last time I had rose-flavored food (at a local Persian restaurant) it tasted like I was eating a bottle of eau de cologne. And the one (and only) time I had squab, I kept wondering a) what statue or street corner they picked my dinner up from and b) if they were going to give me a magnifying glass so I could better see the miniscule portions.

Let's just say I'm feeling a bit skeptical about tomorrow's meal.

(For those of you who think I'm being a pompous ass for complaining about a meal at one of the top-rated restaurants in California when there are loads of folks out there who can hardly afford to go to McDonalds, you're probably right. But here's the deal. Considering we're currently managing on one salary, I want to know we are getting more than our money's worth when we spend large chunks of change for a meal. And this is my blog...so I reserve the right to complain about whatever the hell I want! Hmmph).