Happy Birthday to Me

For the sake of my fragile ego, let's pretend I will be turning 35 on June 1. Don't I look it? How thrilling to be in my mid-30's with a whole FIVE years to go until I turn 40! Whoo-hoo! Thank goodness I'm not turning something boring like, say, 38. How sad and pathetic that would be.

Anyway, due to my upcoming birthday (the big three-five, during which I'll be whisked away on a private jet to a secluded Caribbean island by my adoring husband K, all while a nanny-to-the-stars lovingly watches our kids at home) I will be unable to post new content until next week.

I'll be thinking of you as I relax on a white sand beach while Sven, my hot 20-something masseuse, deftly eases the baby-induced knots and pinched nerve out of my left shoulder. All while my studly husband, gracefully perched atop his surf board, lovingly blows me kisses. Cheers!

We interrupt this dull and predictable fantasy to tell you the real reasons J won't be able to post for the next few days:
1) Today she is in charge of both children due to the temporary closure of M and Z's daycare facility. At this very moment, she is likely pulling huge tufts of hair out of her head.
2) On Saturday, K really is whisking J off on a semi-surprise birthday trip. Rather than a private jet, they'll be taking off in J's 2005 Prius. Instead of a Caribbean island, they'll be headed to more landlocked territory in Sonoma. J's parents will watch the kids. Unfortunately, Sven the masseuse does not factor into the picture at all.
We appreciate your patience and continued patronage! See you next week...

Actually, I won't be doing any of the above as M has come down with a cold. Pardon me while I stomp around the house and yell inappropriate things (my kids are napping so it's ok). Remind me to tell you sometime about my last three birthdays and how this birthday is clearly fitting into the bigger picture. Let's just say I am now an official member of the "how to have a super shitty birthday for four years in a row" club. So the real reason you won't hear from me for a few days is because I'm in the midst of some heavy-duty sulking. Off to feel sorry for myself now.

PS If, in the meantime, you are looking for some quality content to read as opposed to J's snooze-worthy posts, check out her dad's new blog.