Otitis Media is the fancy name for the common ear infection. But don't let the word "common" fool you. Because there is nothing common about this nasty bastard. The mere mention of "ear infection" can be enough to cause parents to begin wailing and gnashing their teeth...and for good reason. I never really understood why until otitis media decided to pay our home a visit. And like the house guest from hell, the little shit has more than overstayed his welcome.
Exactly 34 days ago today, M started complaining of pain in her left ear. Thus began the first of multiple visits to her pediatrician (with a few visits to urgent care and our naturopath thrown in for fun), the first of many doses of various antibiotics, and the first of my many fist-gnawing guilt fests about M's health.
See, if you haven't figured it out already, any time things don't go as planned with your kids (illnesses, developmental delays, potty training challenges, an inability to memorize the Declaration of Independence by age three) parents--in particular moms--will immediately assume it's because they screwed up. And as M's ear infection saga stretched into days and then weeks, I began self-flagellating in earnest. I've even got a mantra of sorts...a little something I chant repeatedly to make the guilt that much more crushing:
"I must have done something wrong."
That's right folks! In spite of the fact that....
1) I breast fed M for her first few months
2) Switched to an organic formula that did not contain high-fructose corn syrup and added sugar
3) Prepared M's pureed meals from scratch using only the freshest, organic fruits and vegetables
4) Gave M a daily cup of organic yogurt (made from the milk of grass-fed cows) to increase her exposure to probiotics
5) Used unbleached, biodegradable (and FRIGGING expensive-as-hell) diapers
6) Only bought bottles and sippy cups made of "good" plastics or stainless steel
7) Ensured her mattress, bedding, and PJs were made of 100% organic materials
8) Purchased paraben-free, pthalate-free, sodium lauryl sulfate-free (but unfortunately not F-R-E-E) soaps, shampoos, conditioners, lotions, and sunscreens
....it apparently was not good enough. Because if it were, then shouldn't M be healthy as a friggin horse?! Why in the hell is M suffering from the mother of all ear infections?! Why are we now on our FOURTH round of antibiotics? And why have we had to take her to a doctor not once, not twice, but SIX TIMES in four weeks!?
Look. I'm no idiot. I know it's normal for kids this age--breast or formula fed--to go through a huge number of illnesses. They have immature immune systems and consequently are susceptible to all sorts of crap...blah, blah, blah. But this ear infection business was NOT part of the deal.
...brief intermission while J has a mini-tantrum, eventually calms self down with some delicious ice cream (have you tried this? It's really, really good...and possibly the explanation for my expanding waistline), and resumes typing...
When I stop and think about it, I suspect what's really going on here is fear, plain and simple. The truth is, we do everything we can to keep our children safe and in doing that, we sometimes convince ourselves that we've beat the system. Then when something goes wrong, we are forced to admit we cannot protect them at all times. And it scares the crap out of us. In other words, if M can, in spite of everything I've done, get a month-long ear infection...what else could happen to her? (Please don't answer that question).
For now, I guess it's antibiotics vs. ear infection, round four. Wish us luck.
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