How I Turned My Road Rage into Something More Productive

NOTE: J would like to apologize in advance to anyone she may inadvertantly offend with this post. But J also knows NONE of her friends would ever do any of the things listed below. And J, of course, is a perfect driver.

Anyone who has driven with me and survived knows I don't have a lot of patience with the other idiots...er, drivers...on the road. Every time I get behind the wheel of my car, you can rest assured I will get pissed off at least once, if not several, times. My top three peeves are, in order of annoyance:

1) People who insist on traveling UNDER the speed limit in the fast lane and who WILL NOT move to let faster traffic pass
2) People who think the way to successfully merge onto a busy road or freeway is by darting out into oncoming traffic and then coming to a complete stop
3) People who truly think they are capable of holding a cell phone and driving at the same time, in spite of the fact that they are weaving in and out of the lane like a drunk and it's now illegal (that's why they have speaker phones, earpieces, and hands-free units people!!)

(yes, I know I said "top three" but I thought of this one after the fact)

4) People who insist on driving right up my ass when I'm going a respectable 75-80 mph on the freeway (I have a handy way of getting rid of these folks. It's called "press the dashboard hazard button". Works every time)

B.K. (Before Kids), I could--and did--happily fling numerous expletives and eloquent hand gestures towards the worst offenders. These days, I have to tone it down a lot. Which is why I was SO thrilled to discover California's Smoking Vehicle Complaint Program. This wonderful program has made it possible for me to take out my road-related frustrations on someone who most certainly deserves it. All without dropping a single F-bomb!

In case you haven't heard of it (or aren't a CA resident) let me give you a brief overview. It's pretty simple. If you happen to see some moron driving down the road with a smoking tailpipe (like this one)....

...you can:

1) Carefully drive close enough to the offender to take note of his/her license plate numbers
2) Discretely dial the Air Resources smog hotline number (best to have this pre-programmed so you don't have to look down at your keypad while driving and risk a) getting ticketed and b) getting killed)
3) Provide the requested info--license plate, vehicle make and model, location--when prompted by the prerecorded message

How cool is that?! Wondering what happens after you report an offender? Take a look here. I confess to hoping for a more dramatic scenario (like something out of Cops) but I suppose this'll do.