Children's Books: Death, Bullying, and Other Interesting Topics

Because M seems to be hitting a major developmental growth spurt, I've been getting TONS of big questions about biology and life: why and how do we kill animals to eat their meat? what happens when/after we die? (a recurring theme) why do I have to be nice to people I don't want to be around? why are those two men holding hands? why does that lady have such a big bottom? So what did I do? I bought books, of course!

Death and Dying
We go to "church" regularly, but the whole death and dying theme continues to come up. I keep suggesting that M ask some of these questions at her classes on Sunday mornings but she never does. Which leaves me continuously trotting out what I think happens when we die and what other people think happens and how nobody really has a clue (except for those of us who have gone into the Great Beyond). It's very stressful because, let's face it, death is a topic very few people can comfortably chat about...especially with a three-year old.

Now for the books. These have been vetted, purchased, and read multiple times in our home so I can vouch for them.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia
A simple, soothing, and moving tale about a leaf, his life, and his death. Because of the naturalistic setting (a tree in a park with the various seasons on display), this story flows effortlessly from Freddie's youth to old age. I feel it's appropriate for families of any faith because the focus is on the cyclical nature of life rather than what happens after we die. And at no point is the book a downer...yes, the main characters do eventually die but it's all matter-of-fact and uplifting without becoming a schlock-fest. M was able to get the gist of the story fairly quickly, even though it's wordier than a typical preschool picture book (one or two pages are all words, no pictures, which might be challenging for kids who need visuals to focus). I'd recommend this for ages four and up...or for thoughtful three-year olds.

Old Coyote by Nancy Wood
A lovely story with some truly beautiful illustrations. As the title suggests, it's about an old coyote who has reached the end of his life. He spends his last days/hours remembering his life and visiting the friends and places that are most dear to him. Eventually he goes off on his own and lies down, "dreaming his way into a whole new world." We really like this story a lot...even though M isn't a fan of dogs/wolves/etc. It's fairly easy for younger kids to grasp but some parents may need to be prepared to simplify some of the more poetic turns of phrase for literal-minded preschoolers. Warning: this story may bring a few tears to your eyes...it did me. But it's not depressing or maudlin.

Bullying
Luckily we have not had any issues with this at all. But M is a rather assertive little person and, depending on her mood, can become downright bossy at times. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to ensure her natural leadership qualities get channeled in a positive direction. I also wanted to ensure she has the necessary skills to stand up for herself should she ever be unfortunate enough to cross paths with a bully....and to stand up on behalf of others who are being bullied.

One by Kathryn Otoshi
We read quite a few books on bullying before I came across this one. Wow. Even if bullying NEVER comes up in your household, this is still an incredible read and one that will almost certainly be at the top of your child's "favorite" pile. The art is AMAZING and really suits the tone of the writing. I really love how the characters become empowered halfway through the story...and I especially loved the gentle way in which the bully's ultimate loneliness was recognized and addressed at the end. This book is great for all ages...the very youngest will be intrigued by the colors and numbers and older kids will tune into the overarching messages within.

Gays/Lesbians
Not too long ago, M saw two men holding hands at our local Whole Foods. For some reason, we see a LOT of women doing this (and for some reason, women holding hands doesn't seem to be a big deal in M's world). But it's pretty rare for us to come across gay male couples. As you might imagine, M was curious and wondered why they were holding hands, what did it mean, etc. I was delighted...as any liberal-minded parent is when presented with a alternative-lifestyles teaching moment. We talked about how some men like other men (or some women like other women) and frankly M seemed to take it all in stride. The topic never came up again...but I decided we needed to have a book to further address the issue...and voila!

And Tango Makes Three by Peter Parnell
Honestly, the illustrations in this book were meh...not bad but not anything to write home about. But the story is very sweet and based on the true story of two male penguins in the NYC zoo. It's a very gentle way to introduce the idea of same-sex pairings (and families) to preschool-aged kids. M loves the story and was fascinated that the baby penguin has two daddies. It took her some time to understand that some families do just fine with no mommy or no daddy...but once she processed it, it never came up again. This one is requested again and again for bedtime reading.