Yes, you read that title right. Maybe you haven't started getting those questions from your kids, but I have. Just the other day M told me she had an important question. I was in the kitchen cooking which (thankfully) meant my back was to her when she let it fly: "Mommy, how did Z get in your tummy?" After a LONG pause, I turned around and used one of the greatest stalling tactics known to moms and dads around the world: "Hmmm?" She repeated the question while my brain scrambled to come up with something. Sadly, it didn't really help.
My response? Something along the lines of:
"Well sweety, she just grew in there when mommy and daddy were ready for her to grow. Just like you." And then I promptly changed the subject.
I bet you can guess what I did next...or shortly thereafter. Yes, I immediately went online and begin looking for help in the form of a book. Sadly, there just aren't many options out there when it comes to helping parents talk to young kids about sex. I guess it makes sense. Most folks don't really think about sex education for toddlers. But if you stop and think about it, the formative years are a time when we form opinions about EVERYTHING from food to male and female roles to opinions about our bodies. Given that, it seems crucial that we get our birds and bees stories down pat so we can a) respond to our kid's first questions in b) ways that don't make them or ourselves uncomfortable.
I could go on and on (and would if it weren't getting late). But instead, allow me to direct you to an excellent (and probably the ONLY) book on sex education for the under five crowd: But How'd I Get in There in the First Place? Talking to Your Young Child about Sex by Deborah M. Roffman. This book is short, easy to read, and helps parents figure out ways to approach an otherwise awkward subject with candor and ease. Unless you are the Dr. Ruth of your household, do yourself and your kids a favor and pick it up.
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My goodness, we had the same issue last week with Miss C, who is as we know the same age as your Miss M. What are they teaching kids in preschool? (Joke). She asked me how she got in my tummy.
ReplyDeleteAlas, where as you took the intelligent/educated approach, I panicked and took the religious angle: God put you in there.
Why?
Because he loved me so much he wanted to give me a present, and he gave me you.
Oh.
[End of Conversation]
[Stage left, D pours herself a scotch, simultaneously congratulating herself on getting us off the subject and berating herself for the inane response]
Actually, the scotch didn't happen ONLY because it was 3 in the afternoon.
I shall hastily pick up the book you recommend, and be better prepared for next time.
I think you'll find once you read the book that you are simply doing what the majority of us do when presented with this stuff: panic, make up something fast, and then move on with relief. That's why I decided to get the book. Well, that and the fact that (sorry mom and dad) my parents' idea of sex education was handing me a book and telling me to talk to them if I had any questions. Fat chance considering I knew this was embarassing stuff because NO ONE in my family ever talked about it. So my promise to my kids is I be as open and comfortable about this stuff as possible while not overstepping any boundaries.
ReplyDeleteBook is GREAT BTW. I'm making Karl read after I finish. A must read for moms AND dads.
Actually, now that we are discussing it, the whole moment is coming back like a flashback of horror. She didn't ask HOW she got in my tummy, she asked "WHO put me in your tummy". That's why I was searching around for a "who" in the response.
ReplyDeleteI think I lost about 2 pounds of sweat during the whole 30 second conversation.
Thanks again for the book recommendation. BTW, thanks also for the Positive Discipline recommendation. We're reading it (including our nanny) and it's really making a difference. I consider you my personal online librarian.