Eating for Two (or Three or Four)

This weekend, we were at my parents. On the drive up, the traffic on the opposite side of the road was horrendous due to road work. I turned to K and said, "Let's remember this. Maybe we can figure out an alternate route for when we go home." And of course, we both forgot until the moment we hit the traffic on our drive back. A cheerful sign on the side of the road let us know the road work would last for the next 23 miles. Fabulous.

We'd left M up at my parents for a few days of much needed grandma and grandpa time. So it was just K, myself, and Z in the car. Unfortunately, Z is NOT a great traveler. She hates to be confined in her car seat and after about 30 minutes or so, begins foaming at the mouth. On cue, the moment the car slowed to a crawl, Z began her weeping and wailing. After 20 minutes of this, I finally turned to K and said, "Let's stop for a while and grab a bite to eat. Maybe it'll relax her."

Let me say up front that nine times out of ten, I have excellent ideas. But this was not one of them.

We got off at the next exit and began searching for a place to stop. On the way, we were sidetracked by the sad sight of a dead turkey in the middle of the road and his/her frantic friend who kept running into traffic to see why his/her buddy was no longer moving. We spent about 20 minutes tracking down the local animal control folks to help the unfortunate pair. By this time, Z was fit to be tied. So we pulled in to the first place we spotted...an Applebees.

Please note: I do not frequent Applebees. In fact, I think I've been there maybe once or twice since it arrived in California 15 years ago. Nor do I regularly frequent any chain restaurants aside from In n' Out. I realize chain restaurants have their place in America. They are family-friendly, fast, cheap, don't require reservations, and don't have a dress code. I can respect this. But the food, for all intents and purposes, is definitely lacking in the quality department.

So anyway, there we were...at Applebees. Our server convinced us to take advantage of the "two meals for $20" special. Not a bad deal, considering. While we waited for our food to arrive, I attempted to keep Z entertained by showing her the menu. This is when I stumbled across the Applebee's Nutritional insert. I opened it up......and felt my lower jaw hit the floor.

Between K and I, we'd ordered about 4,000 calories of food. This is roughly the daily requirement for two adult women. What exactly did we order, you ask? One appetizer and two main courses (fried mozzarella sticks - 960 calories, a hamburger with fries for K-1,600 calories, a small steak with steamed veggies and a baked potatoe for me - 900 calories). No dessert, no foo-foo alcohol drinks. Just the stuff above and water.

What the FUCK people?!

Given all the recent news about childhood obesity, diabetes, etc....how on earth do these places justify serving food like this to families? I think it's criminal. The daily calorie intake for a young child (ages one to three) is roughly 900 calories. One item off of the kid's menu at Applebee's met more than half that requirement. And this is assuming a child doesn't also get dessert.

Kudos to Applebees for having the balls to print their nutritional info for all to see. But I've got an even better idea....why not simply rework the damn menu so you don't risk sending every one of your customers into an early grave each time they dine at your establishment!!!

I'm all for keeping food affordable so EVERYONE can afford to go out to a sit-down-restaurant now and again. But I think it's a shame that people on the lower-end of the income bracket can't expect the same high-quality food that the rest of us get and are, in fact, at risk of developing severe health issues every time they go out for a meal. It's not fair. We are essentially continuing the great American tradition of screwing over those less fortunate by making it next-to-impossible for them to get a healthy, balanced meal anywhere at all. The won't find it at chain restaurants...and based on my recent explorations of "discount" grocery stores (Pak n' Save and the ilk) they sure as hell won't find it there.