Therapy for Parents

I'd been toying with the idea of getting outside help for weeks. I mean, why the hell not? If there's someone who can provide me with parenting advice and act as a sounding board when things get crazy, why shouldn't I take advantage of it? Yeah, I know you old-school parents will tell me to suck it up and take it like a (wo)man. But if your kid is driving you crazy to the point that you don't really look forward to spending time with them, shouldn't you do what you can to fix things? Even if it means going to a family therapist AKA parenting coach?

Well, that's what I decided to do.

I realize I risk making M sound like something out of the Exorcist. Trust me when I say she is a wonderful little girl and I love her dearly. But lately, I'm not liking her so much. I haven't a clue what's going on but it's as if my adorable sweety has been--as in the tales of old--abducted by fairies
and swapped with a cranky, aggressive changeling.

Who knew parenting could inspire such raw and ragged emotions? All most of us ever hear about (aside from horrible stories of abuse) are the happy feelings....the deep, abiding love and connection between parents and their offspring. No one ever tells you much about the other side of parenting...the dark place we go to when faced with a child who has been screaming and physically lashing out for 30 minutes straight--for the third time that day.

Yes, I'm well aware that the early years are fraught with tantrums of all shapes and sizes. I have read all the books. I get it. But while I know what to expect from my kid, I'm still trying to sort out how best to respond to this constant onslaught of emotional intensity.

Anyway, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth...I decided the time had come to bring in the big guns. So I sent an email out to the parent community I belong to and asked for recommendations for parent coaches and/or therapists. After a few false starts, I found someone who sounds great, is affordable, and--best of all--has open slots on the weekend. My first appointment is this Sunday.

What do I hope to get out of this? Well, here's the deal. I know I was an intense child. And I strongly suspect my dad was the same. I remember how wretched it felt when my emotions would overwhelm me to the extent that I was incapable of controlling myself. So I want to do what I can to help M cope with these intense feelings and learn how to manage them. I also want someone I can vent to about the un-parental feelings I've been having as of late...someone who will either tell me I'm normal or help me to adjust as needed so I don't turn into Joan Crawfor a la Mommy Dearest.

Wish me luck.

PS Apparently there is a lot of controversy brewing over Christina Crawford's portrayal of her mother, Joan, as a controlling, abusive beyotch. Check it out.